1. Not understanding fetch one bit. I have tried everything. Cutting open balls and putting treats in them, putting peanut butter on balls, basically anything the internet has suggested. She just simply looks at me when I throw a ball. In addition to this, when we go to the dog park she thinks that other dogs chasing balls are just asking for her to chase them.
2. Trying to lift her leg to pee where the boy dogs just peed. I don’t think she gets the fact that she just can’t do some things.
3. She decides to misbehave as soon as she sees my parents. Of course, the strongest skeptics of me getting a dog, she decides that whenever she sees them, she has to walk in complete zig-zags, chew her leash, and absolutely not pay attention to me. Why, dog, why?
4. Obsessing over squirrels or cats. This Sunday was a true case in point, as soon as I open my front door to take Lexi for a walk, our neighbors cat was lounging on our door mat. Of course she went apesh*t crazy and refused to stop pacing around my apartment for at least 30 minutes. Ever since that day, as soon as I get her out of my condo door she relentlessly tries to drag me around looking for that cat.
5. Being the loudest dog at the dog park. For reasons unbeknownst to me she turns into the most talkative dog at the dog park. Does she want me to look at her? Does she want another dog to play with her? Does she smell fresh air? Did she sniff another dog’s butt? All of the above cause my dog to go into loud barking fits.
6. Trying to herd me. No explanation needed here. I am your human, not a cow, Lexi!
7. Spread-eagles. She is such a tummy-rub slut.
8. Being just as stubborn as her owner. If anyone knows anything about Cattle Dogs you’ll understand. Trying to teach your dog to sit and wait at curbs is only slightly embarrassing when you’re asking her at least 30 times while oncoming traffic and a squad of joggers are watching you.
9. Eating too fast and then making awful vomit noises for the next fifteen minutes.
10. Being the best begger known to man-kind. Wherever you look, she will be there. Wherever you drop something, she will have been there at least 10 seconds before. And she will eat anything.